29 Friday May 2020
Posted in Anxiety, Brain Droppings, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Hate, Human, Love, Middle Way, Open mind, Prayer, Spirituality
I have come to believe that people pray to God not because One exists, but because our Ego does. I believe Prayer works because it takes our most naturally destructive energies (intention, will, hope, judgement, etc.) and channels them outward, rather than back toward ourselves where they do the most damage.
13 Friday Mar 2020
Posted in Brain Droppings, Democratic Socialism, Dingleberries, Fear, Healthcare, Open mind, Politics, Sameness, Trump-Hole
As usual, I am having trouble with the fact that Donald Trump’s base of support would eat a shit sandwich if he said it was a big brown chicken nugget.
As Agent Orange spitballs ideas such as paying people who don’t have sick leave, massive financial stimulus packages, and other socialistic methods to help patch the smoldering wreck that was his ‘beautiful stock market value’, I can’t help but wonder why no Republicans are screaming about Trump’s sudden socialist shift. I mean, this is obviously going to taint the free market.
Just to be clear, right now the biggest difference between Bernie’s version of socialism and Trump’s is that Bernie’s would actually be part of a cohesive plan, and not part of some knee-jerk, radioactive act of desperation.
In the world of material worship, socialism is an old testament god that may only be summoned in the event of an apocalyptic event. Specifically one that threatens the wealthy, as well as us lowly serfs.
10 Tuesday Mar 2020
Posted in Coronavirus, Dingleberries, Healthcare, Open mind, Tech, Trump-Hole
10 Monday Feb 2020
Posted in Change, Fear, Indivisible, Open mind, Patriotism, Politics, Revolution, Trump-Hole
CNN Headline: “Buttigieg gets the most delegates and Sanders comes in second, Iowa Democratic Party says“
This headline is probably single-handedly sending a few people off the deep end. Why? Because, just like in 2016 Bernie is getting the popular vote, but not the delegates. And of course, in this case the DNC is far more willing to agree with the Electoral College.
Over the course of the weekend I had a few friends text me about their concerns for Bernie as the New Hampshire Primary approaches. Most of them, lamented in one form or another, “Why are the Democrats being so mean to Bernie?”
My answer was always the same: They’re not. They’re doing what every organization does. Protecting their own. Unfortunately, in this case, just like in 2016, they may be cutting off their nose despite their face.
Look, in the end the DNC is a just another business with a brand that they feel is threatened. In the end, political parties care about their own survival first. It’s how they make their money, and support their own candidates up and down the ticket. And since political parties are mostly about portraying a collection of common values to voters, whenever someone from the outside threatens to up-end those values, they get defensive. The Democratic Party is a business with a brand, and it’s one that Bernie doesn’t adhere to. However, his values closely aligned with democratic voters that he is able to run as a party reformer, promising a level of change that still scares the shit out of the party.
I’m not sure why people are surprised by any of this. Bernie isn’t a Democrat. He is a very proud Independent who labels himself a Democratic Socialist. He has been registering as a Democrat when he runs for President because he knows it increases his chances of winning. Because, without that big D after his name, he won’t get the political wind at his back that comes from running in a primary organized by one of the two big parties in America.
On the other hand, I don’t know about you but I am terrified of what will happen if Donald Trump gets a second term. So much so that I have every intention of voting for the Democratic candidate, whoever it is, in the general election. And I am not alone. The DNC knows lots of people feel that way. Which begs the question, why would they risk alienating Bernie’s legion of supporters?
The answer itself is simple, they’re doing it for the same reason a concert venues charge you $7.50 for a bottle of water. Because, who the hell else can you turn to?!
Sure, there are other candidates and other political parties.But when the stakes are this high, a protest vote becomes nothing more than a vote against anyone who’s running against Trump. And passing on negative rumors or stories about any of the democratic candidates is akin to endorsing Trump’s brand of politics. Just don’t do it. Instead, spend that energy passing on positive stuff about your favorite candidate. The worst thing that will happen is you might slow the spread of negative press. But by not reacting in a knee-jerk fashion, you can deprive your political opponents the pleasure of seeing someone knocked down a few pegs.
If we don’t learn this fact now, we may never get another chance.
05 Wednesday Feb 2020
Posted in First Amendment, Open mind, Politics, Trump-Hole, Uncategorized
I have always prided myself on be politically independent New Hampshire resident, and have tried very hard to remain one. Not only in label, but in mind. I try to keep an open mind and listen to what others have to say. I really do what I can to not allow myself to reach a conclusion with political candidates until I have had a chance to watch and see if their actions match their words. But I long ago learned that words mean nothing, unless paired with action. And, it’s that kind of personal vetting that has allowed me to have a dramatically different reactions to each member of New Hampshire’s political dynasty, the Sununus.
As I reached voting age, old man John H. Sununu was still the governor here. Soon after though, he moved on to the White House to serve as H.W. Bush’s Chief of Staff. Without going into too many details, there was a massive transportation scandal surrounding my ex-governor. That was how, at the ripe old age of 18 I found myself engaged in some of my first political protests. That kind of activism leaves a lasting mark. Sometimes from the experience itself, and sometimes just from handcuffs or corresponding trespassing charges.
Jumping forward about a decade, and I am working at a local print shop on the late shift. One night I am asked to sit with a customer and help them edit some files on a small booklet he was producing. The customer, as it turns out, is the son of the former governor. And that was how I met the man who would soon be one of my state’s U.S. Senators, John E. Sununu.
Despite the negative connotations I had associated had with his last name, I found myself liking the guy, at least when he wasn’t asking for my vote. So, when he ran for the U.S. Senate, I gave him an honest look. (It should be noted here that during that particular election, the NH Republican Party “meddled” in the election in what would become known as the “2002 New Hampshire Senate election phone jamming scandal”).
Soon after getting elected, Mr. John E. Sununu proceeded to go testicle-deep in the second amendment debate. He did so in such a way that it was clear he had become a rubber stamp for The Party. That was the deal breaker for me, especially since he was supposed to be representing the entire state, not just the Republicans.
So, when Chris Sununu showed up and announced he was running for governor, I had plenty of good reasons to shout “Seriously? Another f**king Sununu?!” But once I calmed down, I knew I should give him a fair chance, like every other candidate. I can honestly say that, based on many things I saw from him during his first term as governor, I was willing to out a little check mark next to his name in order to re-elect him as governor in 2018.
What does this have to do with anything right now, especially during a presidential impeachment trial? Because it turns out the day I cast that vote (November 6, 2018) that I had cast the very last vote I will ever willingly cast for any person running as a Republican in the United States of America, ever again.
Why?
As a voter who has always tried to keep an open mind, I know that the only way I can satisfy an open mind is to give it lots of good information to examine. So, when the United States Senate voted to bar witnesses, or any new information into Donald Trump’s impeachment trial, it was the Republican Party alone who made the decision.
It could be argued that the voters made this decision, because it was made by their elected representatives. Of course, you would have to ignore countless public statements and polls that say otherwise, but if you tried hard enough you could do probably get there. And if there was any shred of evidence that showed that the decision to omit witnesses and documents in a presidential impeachment trial had come about as the result of thoughtful deliberations, then I might be willing to believe this had been the will of the American people. But instead what we got was a handful of off-the-cuff excuses that all amounted to the same explanation from the Republican Party, “We are in the majority, we don’t need a reason”. And with that, the Republican-controlled United States Senate shut the door on information.
And without information, it’s impossible to be an informed voter. Which means I can no longer trust the Republican Party.
The only way I can express that to them is to make sure that, going forward, each and every time I encounter a Republican politician looking for a vote that they know that they just forever lost one of those independent votes they covet so much in tight races.
15 Saturday Jun 2019
quantum physics says
God becomes with our prayers
powerful belief
12 Saturday Jan 2019
Posted in Anxiety, Cannabis, Change, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Healthcare, Human, Medical Marijuana, Meditation, Open mind, Recovery, Sameness
*The following is repost (technical difficulties) of the first part of a multi-part series on the rise of cannabis as a medicine, how it affects alcoholics and addicts in recovery, and how to go about changing the information we have in our minds.
On June 10, 1935 the modern recovery movement was born when Alcoholics Anonymous came into being. And with it came an entirely new way for society to view alcoholism. While this isn’t the only method for people to recover, it’s going to be my primary starting point for now.
AA presented alcoholism as a disease, and one with no known cure. They also offered an ongoing “treatment” for alcoholism that would help the sufferer keep their illness in remission. It soon became very well respected, primarily for the recoveries that it had helped foster. Rather than branching out into other problem areas in society, it instead offered up its 12-step formula to other organizations, to adapt as they saw fit to help other populations with different needs. AA also offered its help to the world of science and health, helping to catapult much of the medical research on alcoholism and addiction that we now benefit from. They firmly put themselves in a position to only help, and never to engage in opinions one way or another. AA also tried very hard to foresee the future in order to avoid falling prey to medical fads, or fickle politics. In doing so, it necessarily took a step back, offering no opinions or endorsements. It’s that kind of foresight that has allowed the program to help as many people as it has over the years. It also gave the mistaken impression to many that the organization itself was mired in the past, advocating faith-healing over science, and allowing people to blame their problems on a disease instead of taking responsibility.
On August 2, 1937 President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Marijuana Tax Act, setting in motion an eighty-year assault on plant that had previously been cultivated for a variety of uses by Americans up until that point. The bill itself was drafted by Harry Anslinger, who served (not at all coincidentally) as the first commissioner of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics. There is more than enough evidence indicating that cannabis was already under assault on different fronts prior to this point, but history has also shown that Anslinger played a pivotal role in cannabis prohibition. And, like many of the other substances that were being regulated, and prohibited during this particularly active period of American puritanism, cannabis went from being a plant of many uses, to a fast and efficient way to ruins your life just from the penalties alone.
So, for 80 years those two worlds existed on parallel planes, rarely interacting. As the 12-step world grew and expanded to include organizations like Narcotics Anonymous, and Marijuana Anonymous, the idea of members using any sort of medicine that alters consciousness became taboo in church basements around the world.
It’s here where I need to step and explain something. I have and will use the terms organization, program, members, and culture to describe things like AA, and that isn’t accidental. It also needs to be pointed out that they aren’t synonymous with each other, something that becomes important as this narrative continues.
The organization of Alcoholics Anonymous is just that, the parent organization that exists to serve the groups, and individual members with information to aid in their recovery. This is the same type of organization that I mentioned had “firmly put themselves in a position to only help, and never to engage in opinions one way or another”. Unlike most organizations, they never set rules or requirements for their members to follow, at most they will offer suggestions. Not everyone at the organization is a member, let alone an alcoholic or addict. If asked about their position on different forms of cannabis being legally prescribed as medicine, or about recreational legalization, they would very likely say that they have no opinion on those kinds of issues.
The program of Alcoholics Anonymous are those 12-step things you hear mentioned in TV and movies all of the time. If you actually use these twelve things to help you in life, you are following the program. You don’t need to be a member, or even an alcoholic or drug addict to use them. They were designed to be “open source” long before that was a term of use.
The members of Alcoholics Anonymous are just that, the people in the seats. Someone becomes a member when they say they are, that’s all there is to it. Of course, because the membership is made up of people who get to decide if they are members, or even if they are alcoholics at all, it is as flawed as and varied as people are in general. And while that means no one person is in charge, it also means that anyone who thinks they are, will try to be. I invite you to someday attend an AA meeting someday, and then randomly suggest they move their coffee pot across the room. Watch to see how many people think they are in charge. This will become is a crucial point in this narrative, because they are people with lots of opinions, who talk to each other all the time.
Finally, there is the culture of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is where most misunderstandings and conflicts arise within the world of recovery. And it’s here where opinions become dogma, regardless of evidence.
To be continued…
11 Friday Jan 2019
Posted in Anxiety, Buddhism, Cannabis, Change, Depression, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Environment, Fear, Heroin, Human, Medical Marijuana, Meditation, Mental Health, Open mind, Recovery, Spirituality
*The following is multi-part series on the rise of cannabis as a medicine, how it affects alcoholics and addicts in recovery, and how to go about changing the information we have in our minds.
On June 10, 1935 the modern recovery movement was born when Alcoholics Anonymous came into being. And with it came an entirely new way for society to view alcoholism. While this isn’t the only method for people to recover, it’s going to be my primary starting point for now.
AA presented alcoholism as a disease, and one with no known cure. They also offered an ongoing “treatment” for alcoholism that would help the sufferer keep their illness in remission. It soon became very well respected, primarily for the recoveries that it had helped foster. Rather than branching out into other problem areas in society, it instead offered up its 12-step formula to other organizations, to adapt as they saw fit to help other populations with different needs. AA also offered its help to the world of science and health, helping to catapult much of the medical research on alcoholism and addiction that we now benefit from. They firmly put themselves in a position to only help, and never to engage in opinions one way or another. AA also tried very hard to foresee the future in order to avoid falling prey to medical fads, or fickle politics. In doing so, it necessarily took a step back, offering no opinions or endorsements. It’s that kind of foresight that has allowed the program to help as many people as it has over the years. It also gave the mistaken impression to many that the organization itself was mired in the past, advocating faith-healing over science, and allowing people to blame their problems on a disease instead of taking responsibility.
On August 2, 1937 President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Marijuana Tax Act, setting in motion an eighty-year assault on plant that had previously been cultivated for a variety of uses by Americans up until that point. The bill itself was drafted by Harry Anslinger, who served (not at all coincidentally) as the first commissioner of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics. There is more than enough evidence indicating that cannabis was already under assault on different fronts prior to this point, but history has also shown that Anslinger played a pivotal role in cannabis prohibition. And, like many of the other substances that were being regulated, and prohibited during this particularly active period of American puritanism, cannabis went from being a plant of many uses, to a fast and efficient way to ruins your life just from the penalties alone.
So, for 80 years those two worlds existed on parallel planes, rarely interacting. As the 12-step world grew and expanded to include organizations like Narcotics Anonymous, and Marijuana Anonymous, the idea of members using any sort of medicine that alters consciousness became taboo in church basements around the world.
It’s here where I need to step and explain something. I have and will use the terms organization, program, members, and culture to describe things like AA, and that isn’t accidental. It also needs to be pointed out that they aren’t synonymous with each other, something that becomes important as this narrative continues.
The organization of Alcoholics Anonymous is just that, the parent organization that exists to serve the groups, and individual members with information to aid in their recovery. This is the same type of organization that I mentioned had “firmly put themselves in a position to only help, and never to engage in opinions one way or another”. Unlike most organizations, they never set rules or requirements for their members to follow, at most they will offer suggestions. Not everyone at the organization is a member, let alone an alcoholic or addict. If asked about their position on different forms of cannabis being legally prescribed as medicine, or about recreational legalization, they would very likely say that they have no opinion on those kinds of issues.
The program of Alcoholics Anonymous are those 12-step things you hear mentioned in TV and movies all of the time. If you actually use these twelve things to help you in life, you are following the program. You don’t need to be a member, or even an alcoholic or drug addict to use them. They were designed to be “open source” long before that was a term of use.
The members of Alcoholics Anonymous are just that, the people in the seats. Someone becomes a member when they say they are, that’s all there is to it. Of course, because the membership is made up of people who get to decide if they are members, or even if they are alcoholics at all, it is as flawed as and varied as people are in general. And while that means no one person is in charge, it also means that anyone who thinks they are, will try to be. I invite you to someday attend an AA meeting someday, and then randomly suggest they move their coffee pot across the room. Watch to see how many people think they are in charge. This will become is a crucial point in this narrative, because they are people with lots of opinions, who talk to each other all the time.
Finally, there is the culture of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is where most misunderstandings and conflicts arise within the world of recovery. And it’s here where opinions become dogma, regardless of evidence.
To be continued…
08 Tuesday Jan 2019
Posted in Brain Droppings, Emotional Intelligence, Open mind, Poetry, Spirituality
I spied the keyhole tonight
the signpost planted deep
No Trespassing —
The shadow reaches back
more dire for what it hides.
What it says of the soul
27 Thursday Dec 2018
Posted in Brain Droppings, Compassion, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Human, Open mind, Spirituality
I was just texting with a friend who had just come back from a house party, and part of his comments were that he didn’t feel like he fit in with that particular group of people. My initial response was, “I feel like that at every party.” Which isn’t entirely true, but it sometimes feels like it. In fact, for about 95% of my life, I’ve felt like I’ve only had about 5% in common with any person in the room.
For myself, I feel as though that happens to me when I am acutely aware of my-self. You know, that part that tells me that J am actually separate from others. There’s something about those feelings of isolation, or separation that seem to fuel the egos growth, solidifying the belief that we are unique and different from others.
Of course, none of that is actually true. The more I lose myself in any situation, whether some music or even just a really good conversation, the less I am thinking about myself. I don’t think about whether I’m hungry or not, or if I’m bored, or even if I am being self-conscious about the clothes I’m wearing. Instead, I am engrossed in the moment, in the now. I am present.
Self-talk, that chattering monkey in your head, necessarily requires you to pause your attention to the current moment, and asks of you to step slightly outside of it to gain perspective. While this view is only a subtle difference, it’s more than enough to stop you from being fully present.
When we aren’t present in our own life, we miss the magic of the moment. And by missing that we begin to separate from others, just a little bit. We begin to see the differences between ourselves and others. And when we do that, we begin to make judgements, even the most well-meaning of which encourage us to compare and separate again. And each time it needs just a little bit more, inch by inch, stretching on for miles.
And we find that, no matter the teacher, the message is the same. “Judge not, lest ye be judged”, is nothing more than a statement of cause and effect, one that we can expect to happen if we allow ourselves to step back in order to observe the differences between ourselves and others. That in itself is neither a good nor a bad thing. What it is though, is simply the statement of a natural law that we can count on as surely as gravity pulls us back to earth.
It is a mile built on inches.
Because, once we do, we have begun to lead ourselves into the hell of no longer truly being on the same plane as others around us. Each judgement one more small wedge that we use, to split ourselves off of the larger tree of society.
When I am sitting in a party and begin to think, “I’m not sure I agree with that lady’s politics”, or whatever other differentiation I might toss to my mind for fodder and fun, is the moment that I set that this separation in motion.
And only we can do it to ourselves. I am the only person actually capable of deciding whether or not to put chasms of thought between myself and the person sitting right next to me.
I was listening and laughing to David Sedaris’s Santaland Diaries near the end of this writing, and during a discussion about forced enthusiasm and fake authenticity, David uttered such a profound line that I stopped dead. It summed up everything I was saying about the cause and effect nature of self-judgement that dooms then dooms us as individuals. And it’s that line I will end with:
“All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.”
