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The Middle Way

~ A journey between extremes

The Middle Way

Category Archives: Nipples

More Nipples

28 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by themiddlewaythrough in Change, Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Human, Kids, Male superiority, Middle Way, Nipples, Open mind, Politics, Sameness

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I try to make sure to point out, wherever possible, the ridiculousness of some of views people have over nipples and boobs. 

If you’re new to the human race, nipples are those two little darker bumps on either side of your chest. They can be used for feeding infants, and they can get pointy when you’re cold or if you sneeze. And let’s face it, other than feeding kids they have no real practical purpose… however there are plenty of off-label uses for them.

I have made my position pretty clear in the past when I discussed how foolish people can be about nipples, boobs and breasts versus a well proportioned set of pecs. 

The fact is that it’s a discrimination against women and only women. Can I prove that? I sure can!

Today at Hampton Beach, on the tiny little shore of New Hampshire, is the second annual Free The Nipple Day. A day when women come out to celebrate the fact that New Hampshire’s laws are written in such a that they are legally allowed to get their tatas sunburned the same amount as men.

But I hear the comments now, “Wait! Men don’t have hooters!” Au contraire mon cheri! When was the last time you saw an overweight man without a shirt? I don’t care what anyone says, those big ol’ saggy things are moobs of Frank Costanza proportions, and in desperate need of A Bro.

I have yet to get a sufficient explanation as to why women’s nipples should be hidden more than men’s. No one can tell me why the breasts of a woman is more offensive than the breasts of a man. In fact I don’t think it’s because they’re offensive at all! I think it’s because they are (if you’ll excuse the pun) titillating. I think it’s historically because men have less sexual self-control than women. Men are unable to not stare, point, drool, touch, comment and biologically respond in a way that can be visual and embarrassing to them when they see a nice set of knockers. 

In other words, women and their breasts, crowned by a perky little nipple, are not the problem and never have been. The problem is that men can’t not automatically associate them with sex. And it also explains why some men get disgusted when they see a woman breastfeeding a baby… men get jealous when they see a kid treating one of those things like a snack bar, and not an object of their obsession like nature intended.

No, we all have nipples and we all have breasts. We should be allowed to bare them if we want, and when we want, without being ridiculous of course (I think it’s still fair to say that anybody of any gender shouldn’t be allowed to whip them out during a business meeting in conference room #6). The fact is that the more you see them, the less spectacular they become. So showing them off is good! In fact, one could argue that these days bras and bikinis do a fantastic job of accentuating them in ways that defy nature and gravity, so allowing them to flop free may actually normalize them some.

Well, it won’t matter one way or another in this neck of the woods. As they say, New Hampshire has 3 months of bad sledding. So bundle up everyone!

Nipples (that’s right, nipples)

17 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by themiddlewaythrough in Human, Male superiority, Middle Way, Nipples, Sameness

≈ 1 Comment

Word has it that Serena Williams had on an outfit at Wimbledon that made it appear as though her nipples could cut glass. Why is this a problem? Beats me, but apparently the Twitterverse exploded because of it. It was “too distracting” for some people to be able to watch the actual tennis match because of her nipples. I’m assuming that these complaints are coming from TV spectators and not live ones. No matter how prominent they were Im thinking they still needed a little help from the cameraman. 

On the other hand we now have the “Free The Nipple” movement which is based on the outlandish idea that (wait for it…) women should have the same freedom as men. They should be able to take their shirts off when they’re uncomfortably hot, or even if they just want to sunbathe without a top on.

So can someone explain to me what the problem is please?! Men have nipples. Women have nipples. Dogs have nipples. Marmosets have nipples. It’s part of the basic mammalian package to have nipples.

Men are allowed to expose their nipples in public because, I guess, they don’t have as much flesh around the nipple?! So is the breast the problem? Does size matter? Because if that’s the case why doesn’t anyone get upset at seeing a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s massive pecs, but the censors flip out when they see Charlize Theron’s dainty little breasts?

Is it the name we give them? Men have pecs and women have boobs, right?! But bodybuilding women can have pecs, and fat guys can have boobs… and in that situation it’s still the woman who’ll have to cover up her nipples!

So if someone wants to explain this rationale to me that would be great. I’m excluding the fact that anyone who doesn’t want to show their nipples, or just likes to wear a shirt is excluded. But the rest is just puritanical nonsense as far as I can see. Am I missing something?

I welcome all reasonable debate. What’s wrong with nipples?

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