Category Archives: Meditation

Medical Cannabis and Recovery – Part 1: High Time For Change

12 Saturday Jan 2019

Posted by in Anxiety, Cannabis, Change, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Healthcare, Human, Medical Marijuana, Meditation, Open mind, Recovery, Sameness

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*The following is repost (technical difficulties) of the first part of a multi-part series on the rise of cannabis as a medicine, how it affects alcoholics and addicts in recovery, and how to go about changing the information we have in our minds.

On June 10, 1935 the modern recovery movement was born when Alcoholics Anonymous came into being. And with it came an entirely new way for society to view alcoholism. While this isn’t the only method for people to recover, it’s going to be my primary starting point for now.

AA presented alcoholism as a disease, and one with no known cure. They also offered an ongoing “treatment” for alcoholism that would help the sufferer keep their illness in remission. It soon became very well respected, primarily for the recoveries that it had helped foster. Rather than branching out into other problem areas in society, it instead offered up its 12-step formula to other organizations, to adapt as they saw fit to help other populations with different needs. AA also offered its help to the world of science and health, helping to catapult much of the medical research on alcoholism and addiction that we now benefit from. They firmly put themselves in a position to only help, and never to engage in opinions one way or another. AA also tried very hard to foresee the future in order to avoid falling prey to medical fads, or fickle politics. In doing so, it necessarily took a step back, offering no opinions or endorsements. It’s that kind of foresight that has allowed the program to help as many people as it has over the years. It also gave the mistaken impression to many that the organization itself was mired in the past, advocating faith-healing over science, and allowing people to blame their problems on a disease instead of taking responsibility.

On August 2, 1937 President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Marijuana Tax Act, setting in motion an eighty-year assault on plant that had previously been cultivated for a variety of uses by Americans up until that point. The bill itself was drafted by Harry Anslinger, who served (not at all coincidentally) as the first commissioner of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics. There is more than enough evidence indicating that cannabis was already under assault on different fronts prior to this point, but history has also shown that Anslinger played a pivotal role in cannabis prohibition. And, like many of the other substances that were being regulated, and prohibited during this particularly active period of American puritanism, cannabis went from being a plant of many uses, to a fast and efficient way to ruins your life just from the penalties alone.

So, for 80 years those two worlds existed on parallel planes, rarely interacting. As the 12-step world grew and expanded to include organizations like Narcotics Anonymous, and Marijuana Anonymous, the idea of members using any sort of medicine that alters consciousness became taboo in church basements around the world.

It’s here where I need to step and explain something. I have and will use the terms organization, program, members, and culture to describe things like AA, and that isn’t accidental. It also needs to be pointed out that they aren’t synonymous with each other, something that becomes important as this narrative continues.

The organization of Alcoholics Anonymous is just that, the parent organization that exists to serve the groups, and individual members with information to aid in their recovery. This is the same type of organization that I mentioned had “firmly put themselves in a position to only help, and never to engage in opinions one way or another”. Unlike most organizations, they never set rules or requirements for their members to follow, at most they will offer suggestions. Not everyone at the organization is a member, let alone an alcoholic or addict. If asked about their position on different forms of cannabis being legally prescribed as medicine, or about recreational legalization, they would very likely say that they have no opinion on those kinds of issues.

The program of Alcoholics Anonymous are those 12-step things you hear mentioned in TV and movies all of the time. If you actually use these twelve things to help you in life, you are following the program. You don’t need to be a member, or even an alcoholic or drug addict to use them. They were designed to be “open source” long before that was a term of use.

The members of Alcoholics Anonymous are just that, the people in the seats. Someone becomes a member when they say they are, that’s all there is to it. Of course, because the membership is made up of people who get to decide if they are members, or even if they are alcoholics at all, it is as flawed as and varied as people are in general. And while that means no one person is in charge, it also means that anyone who thinks they are, will try to be. I invite you to someday attend an AA meeting someday, and then randomly suggest they move their coffee pot across the room. Watch to see how many people think they are in charge. This will become is a crucial point in this narrative, because they are people with lots of opinions, who talk to each other all the time.

Finally, there is the culture of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is where most misunderstandings and conflicts arise within the world of recovery. And it’s here where opinions become dogma, regardless of evidence.

To be continued…

 

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High Time For Change: Medical Cannabis and Recovery – Part 1

11 Friday Jan 2019

Posted by in Anxiety, Buddhism, Cannabis, Change, Depression, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Environment, Fear, Heroin, Human, Medical Marijuana, Meditation, Mental Health, Open mind, Recovery, Spirituality

≈ 1 Comment

*The following is multi-part series on the rise of cannabis as a medicine, how it affects alcoholics and addicts in recovery, and how to go about changing the information we have in our minds.

On June 10, 1935 the modern recovery movement was born when Alcoholics Anonymous came into being. And with it came an entirely new way for society to view alcoholism. While this isn’t the only method for people to recover, it’s going to be my primary starting point for now.

AA presented alcoholism as a disease, and one with no known cure. They also offered an ongoing “treatment” for alcoholism that would help the sufferer keep their illness in remission. It soon became very well respected, primarily for the recoveries that it had helped foster. Rather than branching out into other problem areas in society, it instead offered up its 12-step formula to other organizations, to adapt as they saw fit to help other populations with different needs. AA also offered its help to the world of science and health, helping to catapult much of the medical research on alcoholism and addiction that we now benefit from. They firmly put themselves in a position to only help, and never to engage in opinions one way or another. AA also tried very hard to foresee the future in order to avoid falling prey to medical fads, or fickle politics. In doing so, it necessarily took a step back, offering no opinions or endorsements. It’s that kind of foresight that has allowed the program to help as many people as it has over the years. It also gave the mistaken impression to many that the organization itself was mired in the past, advocating faith-healing over science, and allowing people to blame their problems on a disease instead of taking responsibility.

On August 2, 1937 President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Marijuana Tax Act, setting in motion an eighty-year assault on plant that had previously been cultivated for a variety of uses by Americans up until that point. The bill itself was drafted by Harry Anslinger, who served (not at all coincidentally) as the first commissioner of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics. There is more than enough evidence indicating that cannabis was already under assault on different fronts prior to this point, but history has also shown that Anslinger played a pivotal role in cannabis prohibition. And, like many of the other substances that were being regulated, and prohibited during this particularly active period of American puritanism, cannabis went from being a plant of many uses, to a fast and efficient way to ruins your life just from the penalties alone.

So, for 80 years those two worlds existed on parallel planes, rarely interacting. As the 12-step world grew and expanded to include organizations like Narcotics Anonymous, and Marijuana Anonymous, the idea of members using any sort of medicine that alters consciousness became taboo in church basements around the world.

It’s here where I need to step and explain something. I have and will use the terms organization, program, members, and culture to describe things like AA, and that isn’t accidental. It also needs to be pointed out that they aren’t synonymous with each other, something that becomes important as this narrative continues.

The organization of Alcoholics Anonymous is just that, the parent organization that exists to serve the groups, and individual members with information to aid in their recovery. This is the same type of organization that I mentioned had “firmly put themselves in a position to only help, and never to engage in opinions one way or another”. Unlike most organizations, they never set rules or requirements for their members to follow, at most they will offer suggestions. Not everyone at the organization is a member, let alone an alcoholic or addict. If asked about their position on different forms of cannabis being legally prescribed as medicine, or about recreational legalization, they would very likely say that they have no opinion on those kinds of issues.

The program of Alcoholics Anonymous are those 12-step things you hear mentioned in TV and movies all of the time. If you actually use these twelve things to help you in life, you are following the program. You don’t need to be a member, or even an alcoholic or drug addict to use them. They were designed to be “open source” long before that was a term of use.

The members of Alcoholics Anonymous are just that, the people in the seats. Someone becomes a member when they say they are, that’s all there is to it. Of course, because the membership is made up of people who get to decide if they are members, or even if they are alcoholics at all, it is as flawed as and varied as people are in general. And while that means no one person is in charge, it also means that anyone who thinks they are, will try to be. I invite you to someday attend an AA meeting someday, and then randomly suggest they move their coffee pot across the room. Watch to see how many people think they are in charge. This will become is a crucial point in this narrative, because they are people with lots of opinions, who talk to each other all the time.

Finally, there is the culture of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is where most misunderstandings and conflicts arise within the world of recovery. And it’s here where opinions become dogma, regardless of evidence.

To be continued…

 

A Real Nail Biter

19 Wednesday Dec 2018

Posted by in Anxiety, Brain Droppings, Compassion, Dandelion Break, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Fear, Human, Meditation

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People with chronic anxiety, huddle up! It’s time to give yourself that ‘pep talk’ that only you can give to yourself…

“Get out there Tiger! Don’t worry, today’s going to be boring! Everything going to go as planned, finally. And, for once there won’t be any nasty surprises!”

“No ones going to scream about something in your ear, or yell at their kids when you happen to be close enough to get the ‘shock’ from it. Better yet, I’ll bet you no one is going to yell near you at all!”

“Today you’re not going to have to worry about your boss. You’re won’t need to get clarification from them when they give you vague instructions about some incredibly sensitive matter that they won’t offer you any help with, never mind answer your questions. Instead, everything will make sense, and every angle will be covered beforehand. Doubt is a thing of the past!”

“Today’s the day that your family, and friends won’t ask how you’re feeling, nor will they even have to. You won’t have to deal with that moment when the conversation awkwardly dies, because you don’t have the answer they’re hoping for. Today no one is going to ask you at all, and all of the conversations will be fine.”

“Today will also be the day that your heart rate will finally respond to those breathing exercises everyone has been showing you for years. You know the ones. You’ve tried them a million times, but they only seem to work on normal people. Not today, my friend!”

“And best of all, today you won’t need those rescue meds either. Which means, you won’t need to worry about feeling crappy for days afterwards because of all the side effects.”

“Today is your day! Enjoy, or not. It’s totally up to you! Do whatever you want to today.

And don’t worry, there’s no reason to second guess any of this. It’s all good!”

In Memoriam… And it’s time to get to work

06 Saturday Oct 2018

Posted by in Change, Compassion, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Fear, Healthcare, Heroin, Love, Medical Marijuana, Meditation, Memorial, Middle Way, Music, Open mind, Politics, Recovery, Sameness

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The last few years has been a tough ride for me personally. I lost a brother to an overdose. I lost my mother to cancer. I lost one of my oldest friends, and the best man in my wedding, to Alzheimer’s. There’s also a handful of other major events that would take too long to explain in this particular post. When I look back at every one of those losses, there is a fairly large gap in my blog post history. Who knows why? I suppose it’s one of the ways I don’t deal with grief, by simply ignoring any decent coping mechanism I have for processing it.

A week ago today, I lost one of the most influential people I have ever had the privilege to know and collaborate with. This time the loss is directly relevant to my spiritual well-being, as well as what I write about.

Brian and I met over a decade ago, when he was hired by a friend of his, who was also my boss. A lucky break for me since the same guy had been telling me that I would probably get along really well with his friend Brian. A suggestion that sparked one of the most pivotal relationships in my life.

He was more than just a friend. He was a mentor in a number of areas for me. At other times, he preferred to be the student. It was one the purest definitions of friendship I have ever experienced. For myself, I believe that’s because we recognized ourselves in each other.

Over time, we created and authored a number of blogs that discussed a range of topics. He was one of the few people I can honestly say was able to deliver criticism to me in a way that completely bypassed my defenses, and the need to defend myself from the criticism. He could bypass my defenses and deliver information in a way that made it easy to see his point, simply removing my normal need to save face.

I don’t write because I want to. On most days, it’s more of a need. But, when my ego flairs, writing the type of stuff I do can be painful sometimes. Based on what I know, I suspect that Brian had to learn how to reduce his own ego before he could help anyone else with theirs. I am a far better person today for having known him.

I haven’t used his full name for a few reasons. The first of which is that I haven’t sought any sort of permission from his family to compose a written memorial. But also because I think I knew him well enough to know that, the idea of anyone trying to memorialize him in any way, would have given him the heebie jeebies.

Over the years he pushed me hard to get over myself, and to finally realize some of the projects I wanted to work on. But, like most people, most of it’s blocked by whatever bullshit excuse for a fear that I’d given myself. Each time that he pushed, he was careful to do so in a way that was always most helpful to others, and less likely to focus accolades back on us. In other words, Brian showed me what humility was, from the inside.

…

Okay, so now after having written all of that nice stuff, it also appears that I have also acquired my own glasses-wearing, mustachioed Obi Wan-ghost, wandering around and bugging me that I’ve still got work to do.

You see, I am not trying to memorialize Brian so much as I am trying to write about the passing of a close friend as a way to exercise my own demons. And also to let people know that I plan to change directions with this blog for a little while, if that’s okay (and even if it’s not). This blog was never meant to be a political bitch session. That’s purely a side effect of our current political climate.

I have been working on a series of essays that discuss the current and ongoing change in status that cannabis is experiencing as medicine, as well as how that might affect people in recovery for things like alcoholism.

Because of some of the training I have, both personally and professionally, this is a topic of great personal importance to me. It’s also one that few seem willing to tackle. And it’s here that Brian recently applied his gentle pressure, for me to continue to explore the subject, so that we could continue to help others in whatever way works for them.

My secondary reason for this post is to ask help from the readers: If you know anyone who can be helped by this information, please share it with them, this topic must be a give and take. Like much of our political discourse these days, the medical benefits of things like cannabis are subject to media favoritism. And the popularity of certain methods and medicines, ebbs and flows on public perception. A perception that is largely informed by backdoor deals and lobbying efforts, usually designed to enrich someone else, somewhere else.

What we really should be doing is using the technology we passively browse, and instead push it to increase our own access to information. We need it to help us expand our knowledge of the truth, and about the real efficacy of our medicines, and our politics. And for many who are trying to recover from addiction, helping them to increase the quality of their own internal lives.

Having said all of that, I want to once more thank Brian for everything he was able to teach me (not always such an easy task). And to also let him know that I miss him, and that I love him. Something I’m sure he knew, but I don’t think I got to say out loud.

Why loving Jeff Sessions is painfully patriotic

05 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Compassion, Emotional Intelligence, Human, Love, Meditation, Mental Health, Middle Way, Open mind, Patriotism, Revolution, Trump-Hole

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At the moment, I think the most glaring resentment I have against the *president is that he has single-handedly remind me of the fact that Jeff Sessions is human, and deserving of compassion.

I may not like the AG’s politics, or his views on race, or a whole bunch of other crap the man espouses, but he is still human. And more than most, he needs compassion. It’s clear how much he does!

He has embraced racism his whole life. And anyone who can sit in judgement of another person, solely because based on their culture or the color of their skin, is a person who lives in hell. A man who dwells in a never ending labyrinth of nameless fears.

And in his own way, Sessions has decided that his job is to remain between the most autocratic *president the country has ever had, and the investigation that will most undoubtedly bring him down. And yet, Sessions is there, protecting Americans by blocking the *president, even if just for a little while.

A few days ago the *president blasted his AG again. But this time it was for enforcing the law. You’d never have believed it even a couple of years ago, but the reason the *president attacked his Attorney General is because he did not protect a couple of loyal henchmen, ultimately allowing them to be charged with crimes.

Worse yet, there appears to be no evidence that the *president actually understands the finer points of guilt and innocence. He only sees friends and enemies. Period. And Sessions just allowed two friends to be locked away.

Despite everything I know about the Attorney General, and everything I know he fights for, he is still a person. And each person is worthy of compassion. Maybe it will make him think twice about the impunity with which the *president tossed him away. And even more about the sudden support he’s getting from the resistance. You never know…

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a shower.

Love ~ Hate

31 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by in Depression, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Hate, Human, Love, Meditation, Mental Health, Middle Way, Spirituality

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Imagine you’ve spent most of your life trying to lose as many negative states of mind as you could. To reduce the size of your ego, and live by spiritual principles. And throughout that time you’ve tried to turn the other cheek, no matter what had been done to you, or why.

And then imagine that after decades of practice, you suddenly feel less accomplished, and deeper in your suffering than you ever had been before starting your journey.

And then one day wake up a sudden realization, and a fully formed plan to ruin someone else’s life. You had no conscious realization that any hate you still possessed ran that deep. Nor do you have any memory of wanting to plan, or perform such an act. But suddenly, there it was, complete and ready to go.

Would you follow through?

Would you tell another person?

Would you seek help for yourself?

Or could you accept it as a plateau in your growth?

The Work

27 Wednesday Sep 2017

Posted by in Buddhism, Compassion, Ego, Environment, Human, Meditation, Mental Health, Middle Way, Open mind, Sameness, Spirituality

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“I like walking around cities better than in the countryside. I’m happy the trees are there, I just don’t need to see them, that’s all. I’m serious. I much prefer cities. Let’s face it, it’s actually better that we leave the trees alone; let them get along with doing their job without human interference. Cities, though: they’re full of people, and they’re the ones who need us. But we feel the opposite. As soon as we see all those people crowding the streets, filling the buildings, driving the cars, we feel aversion for them. We want to run away into the trees! It should be the other way around – at least, that’s how bodhisattvas would feel. The more people the better! Grist for their mill.”

– Venerable Robina Courtin

Declare The Pennies On Your Eyes

20 Wednesday Sep 2017

Posted by in Compassion, Conspiracies, Depression, Meditation, Middle Way, Open mind, Patriotism, Politics, Sameness, Spirituality

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At the age of 50 years old, I have contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars to the United States government. I’m sure someone knows how much precisely, but I don’t. However, I do know it’s somewhere between a crap-ton and a shitload. My taxes have funded untold amounts of unnecessary military expenditures (and probably some necessary ones, there is no way to tell). Senators, Congressmen, and an endless string lackeys  (some, I assume, were used by good people) have feasted and traveled on my dime. There has been boondoggles, pork projects, and tit for tat bargains stretching off as far as the eye can see, all on my taxes… and yours too.

For most of my life I have been told that I will likely never benefit from any of the money I’m required to pay into Social Security. I guess because someone else needed it, or something. They weren’t supposed to take it, but they did… and no one stopped them. Of course, if I get frustrated and stop “contributing” I will surely go to jail. And I still won’t ever see those benefits.

There are towns across the country with crumbling roads, poisoned water, and bridges that are more rust than metal. The bridges get upgraded less and less these days, instead they are triaged more and more. That comes out of my taxes too. And like most things, it costs more to repair this stuff than it does to maintain it, but that’s the next guy’s problem, right?

I work for a public school system, a target for any fiscal conservative. Therefore, pay increases have finally reversed direction from job performance. The same can be said for workplace morale, and parental indignation… or even staff payroll, and district budgets. Somehow this is supposed to prove that public education doesn’t work… yeah, I don’t get it either. Raises are hard to come by these days, unless you’re in Congress. Congress has never failed to give themselves decent raise, or three. 

Soon Mitch McConnell and a whole bunch of politicians will vote as one (one political party, that is), to get rid of healthcare coverage for lots of people. Why? Good question. I can give you a dozen answers, all somewhat correct. But the truth is, that it’s what they been told/asked/threatened/bribed/want to do. They have also been given strict talking points by the same people who have told/asked/threatened/bribed/want them to vote this way. These talking points help them explain to you why you unconsciously want them to get rid of your actual healthcare, in favor of a really great conceptual one. And no, if they take away your healthcare, they won’t give any of the money back. Get real. And yes, you will still be required to pay the taxes for it.

So, lately I have been trying to avoid blogging about politics. It’s just too easy to wonk about this stuff, no matter where you stand politically. But, because so many people are overwhelmed, worried and anxious about losing their healthcare, this blog entry is actually doubling as a post about mental health.

Suffering is an option. An option we elect each time we read, or watch the news about politics, and the healthcare debate. But it doesn’t need to be that way.

Meditation is a wonderful tool that you can use to get perspective on these things. If you’re reading this, feel free to let me know if you think a simple beginners guide to meditation would be helpful for you. And once you learn it, they can’t tax it!