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Category Archives: Kids

Hey, you can’t pee there! It’s against the law !!!

01 Sunday Jan 2017

Posted by in Compassion, Dingleberries, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Hate, Human, Kids, Middle Way, Open mind, Patriotism, Politics, Sameness, Sex, Terrorism

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It seems to me that laws like North Carolina’s Bathroom Bill are stupid on so many levels that the people who drafted them are the worst kind of dumb. They believe they’re smart because they have letters after their name, even though they go out of their way to punish anyone who doesn’t agree with how they think the world should work. They hide behind what they claim to be God’s law, but feel the need to add on a few of man’s laws… just in case.

“In case of what?” you ask. Well, if someone identifies as a particular gender there is a very good chance that is reflected in how they look, right? So it’s going to be difficult for a closed-minded bigot to tell who is what. Therefore, they need to write laws to protect themselves from their biggest fear: Getting too drunk and having sex with a person who isn’t who they thought they were!

The other part that is so frustrating is that the people who are writing and enforcing these laws belong to the party of less government… *wink wink*. They use the very thing they swear to limit in order to expand their reach and seek control of a world that is changing around them. Many of these lawmakers probably grew up in households that thought Easy Rider had a happy ending. So stopping others from being different is the real family business they’ve inherited. It’s a business that’s driven by Fear and Hate, while masquerading as Christianity and Patriotism, but embodying neither.

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Dear Veterans and Forefathers 

01 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Change, Compassion, Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Guns, Heroin, Human, Islam, Kids, Male superiority, Medical Marijuana, Middle Way, Music, Open mind, Patriotism, Politics, Race, Sameness, Spirituality, Terrorism

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Thank you.

Thank you for my freedom

And what it’s truly worth

The freedom that you fought for

The freedom that you died for

The freedom to express my thoughts

The freedom to allow all others to speak

The freedom to love my country

The freedom to hate my government

The freedom to own a gun

The freedom to hate firearms

The freedom to love who I want

The freedom to marry and grow old

The freedom to work against hate

The freedom to seek my own center

The freedom to worship as I please

The freedom to choose the scientific method

The freedom to pledge allegiance to the flag

The freedom to burn it in protest

The freedom to stand in reverence

The freedom to sit in protest

The freedom to hate blind patriotism

The freedom to disregard political correctness

The freedom to hunt and kill

The freedom to tend a garden

The freedom to vote

The freedom run for office

The freedom to vote my conscience

The freedom to vote against your candidate

The freedom to defend my home

The freedom to fight for my water supply

The freedom to wander the countryside

The freedom to lose myself in work

The freedom to drink my liver away

The freedom to live simply

The freedom the destroy my own life

The freedom to rebuild as I see fit

The freedom to walk away

The freedoM to join you in defense

The freedom to know

Freedom is not tied to any one belief 

30 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by in Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Emotional Intelligence, Kids, Middle Way, Open mind, Patriotism, Politics, Sex, Terrorism

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So while working in a public school district years ago, I watched a troubling story unfold. It’s kind of relative to the election so I’d like to share it with you.

You see there was this custodian who had recently been hired, and before I got to know him, he was suddenly let go. As far as I knew he did his work and seemed reasonable enough. So, like everyone else I was pretty curious as to what happened! And, as it tends to happen, after a period of time it finally came out as to why he was let go so quickly and quietly.

Here’s the abridged version. Apparently this guy had worked in another school district prior to coming to work with us. And, it seems, he had been fired from that job because he decided to have sex with a recently graduated student.

Now, the specifics of the story are that he waited until the girl turned 18, and once she graduated and left school, began having an affair with her. And while it’s clear that he was relying on the letter of the law for this to be technically acceptable, you most likely cringed just by reading those last couple of sentences. Because no one wants their teenage kid around some creep with such an unusual interest in kids. 

So someone please explain to me why in the hell we aren’t collectively losing our minds over the fact that the Republican Party’s candidate for President of the United States, has been recorded making comments to a 10 year old girl that he intended on dating within a decade?! And based on his very public history in the media, his own disturbing comments on his own daughter’s looks, and not a single person doubts that he meant every word of it!!!

Seriously people. This is not some he said/she said thing that can’t be verified, we have him actually saying it! And we have him saying he’s so the same thing with his daughter!!!

I have a question or three for you if you’re thinking of voting for Trump, or you know someone who is. How would you feel if it the custodian I mentioned worked at your kid’s school, or maybe the school your niece’s goes to. And what if the district said to you, “Sure, he slept with a student, but it’s not like she was still at the school! She graduated last month for crying out loud! Leave the guy alone, we’re not getting rid of him. I’m sure it was a one time thing anyway.”? Would you be able to sleep comfortably knowing that? And if you are going to hold a custodian to that kind of morality, what is so wrong in this world that you’d be willing to completely ignore the same conduct in major candidate for leader of the free world?!

Seriously. I’d love to hear an explanation as to why it’s alright for him to do it, and an it should be an explanation that doesn’t just spin the answer over to why someone else is so much worse. Just explain why it’s alright, on it’s own merits alone. Thanks. 

Burns, Bummers, Busts, and Ripoffs. 

08 Saturday Oct 2016

Posted by in Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Emotional Intelligence, Kids, Middle Way, Open mind, Patriotism, Politics, Terrorism

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When I was a teenager, I knew someone who had taken some LSD and was having a bad trip. In an effort to help him come out of it his friends hung out with him and tried to help him get his head into a better space.

During this time they went for a walk and ended up going into a store to get some something to drink. Unbeknownst to them another teenager had just left the store after cleaning out the register when the owner wasn’t looking. 

So the group walks into the store and moments later the owner finds the empty register. He flips out and begins blaming the group of kids, including my friend. Soon everyone was yelling back and forth, except my friend who was still up in his head, having a bad trip.

All he knew was that his whole goal at this point was to get himself a Coke.

The owner screamed and yelled and threatened to call the cops. 

“Where the hell did they keep the Cokes?!”, he keeps obsessing over and over to himself?!

His friends kept defending themselves as the situation escalated. 

Finally, my friend’s head got too full and he blurted out “Where the hell can I get a coke?! I’m really thirsty!”

Everyone stopped. The yelling stopped. The blaming stopped. And for a second it was dead quiet. Finally the owner said, “Back over there in that cooler.”

And so my friend went and got his Coke, pulled out his his money and waited dutifully at the register, oblivious to everything that had just happened.

Finally the owner was so disarmed by the sheer normality of the request and offer to pay that he suddenly realized that these weren’t his culprits. And so he rang everyone up and they went on their way, exchanging angry looks at one another. 

The moral of this story?

Sometimes I feel like Donald Trump’s supporters are like the guy on the bad trip. To them the world is still about just getting something to drink. They are still arguing about the issues as if their candidate hasn’t done anything that wrong. Meanwhile the press, pundits and anyone with a voice is raising the alarm like that store owner, because something seriously bad has happened, but the idiots in from of him are too fucked in the head to see how bad it is. 

More Nipples

28 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by in Change, Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Human, Kids, Male superiority, Middle Way, Nipples, Open mind, Politics, Sameness

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I try to make sure to point out, wherever possible, the ridiculousness of some of views people have over nipples and boobs. 

If you’re new to the human race, nipples are those two little darker bumps on either side of your chest. They can be used for feeding infants, and they can get pointy when you’re cold or if you sneeze. And let’s face it, other than feeding kids they have no real practical purpose… however there are plenty of off-label uses for them.

I have made my position pretty clear in the past when I discussed how foolish people can be about nipples, boobs and breasts versus a well proportioned set of pecs. 

The fact is that it’s a discrimination against women and only women. Can I prove that? I sure can!

Today at Hampton Beach, on the tiny little shore of New Hampshire, is the second annual Free The Nipple Day. A day when women come out to celebrate the fact that New Hampshire’s laws are written in such a that they are legally allowed to get their tatas sunburned the same amount as men.

But I hear the comments now, “Wait! Men don’t have hooters!” Au contraire mon cheri! When was the last time you saw an overweight man without a shirt? I don’t care what anyone says, those big ol’ saggy things are moobs of Frank Costanza proportions, and in desperate need of A Bro.

I have yet to get a sufficient explanation as to why women’s nipples should be hidden more than men’s. No one can tell me why the breasts of a woman is more offensive than the breasts of a man. In fact I don’t think it’s because they’re offensive at all! I think it’s because they are (if you’ll excuse the pun) titillating. I think it’s historically because men have less sexual self-control than women. Men are unable to not stare, point, drool, touch, comment and biologically respond in a way that can be visual and embarrassing to them when they see a nice set of knockers. 

In other words, women and their breasts, crowned by a perky little nipple, are not the problem and never have been. The problem is that men can’t not automatically associate them with sex. And it also explains why some men get disgusted when they see a woman breastfeeding a baby… men get jealous when they see a kid treating one of those things like a snack bar, and not an object of their obsession like nature intended.

No, we all have nipples and we all have breasts. We should be allowed to bare them if we want, and when we want, without being ridiculous of course (I think it’s still fair to say that anybody of any gender shouldn’t be allowed to whip them out during a business meeting in conference room #6). The fact is that the more you see them, the less spectacular they become. So showing them off is good! In fact, one could argue that these days bras and bikinis do a fantastic job of accentuating them in ways that defy nature and gravity, so allowing them to flop free may actually normalize them some.

Well, it won’t matter one way or another in this neck of the woods. As they say, New Hampshire has 3 months of bad sledding. So bundle up everyone!

Play Doh? Seriously?!

21 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by in Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Kids, Middle Way, Politics, Tech, Terrorism

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Living in New Hampshire with our First in the Nation Primary status, gives you a unique perspective on politics. For example, I don’t know too many people who haven’t been stuck in traffic because a motorcade was going through. It’s kind of a fact of life around here. The news helps by letting you know who is around when, if they can, but sometimes there’s no avoiding it. You pull up to an intersection and suddenly the State Police pull up out of nowhere, block everyone off in seconds and now you’re forced to sit and wait… and hope you don’t have to pee too bad. 

So when the governor of Louisiana, John Bel Edwards, requested that the president and other presidential hopefuls stay away from the state while emergency efforts are underway to help the flood victims, it was totally understandable. The last thing they need is the secret service and press taking up food and lodging needed for first responders, let alone the interruption to the transportation systems. If one person suffers because emergency personnel were stuck behind a presidential motorcade, it’s one too many.

But a natural disaster is just too attractive for some politicians to walk away from. And so here comes Mike Huckabee a-helpin’ and a-criticisin’ the president for not leaving his vacation to help the good people of Louisiana, despite the governor’s request. Okay, I get it, he’s doing his Christian duty to help, but he can’t help but poke the bear while he’s there can he? He knows that the headlines are more powerful than the truth and he just gained a few more votes for the brotherhood, right. Oh yeah, and the Newt bitched about the president too. I know that’s hard to believe. 

Anyway, then there’s Donald Trump…

Where to start?

Let’s start with the state governor’s request to Trump to please not visit if he was just coming for a photo op. And if he did show up, please be ready to pitch in and help out for real. Now what would make him think that Trump would be an opportunist while running for president of the United States?

So here comes Trump, ready to get his hands dirty, wearing a brand new sparklingly white “Make America Great Again” baseball hat and a blue blazer. Yes, the man was wearing a fucking blazer with a starched white shirt on underneath! He looked like Thurston Howell on his way to the golf course. 

He spent less than a minute (49 seconds by some reports) handing out… wait, not handing out… handing over cases of Play Doh to Mike Pence, who then gave them to someone else so they could give them to the victims who were hoping for food and water. 

Play Doh? Seriously?!

I’ve been combing news stories trying to figure out what the Play Doh is for, or why it seemed like a good idea. Now to be fair he donated other stuff like baby formula, school supplies, blankets, and even socks. But Play Doh? Hasn’t anyone showed this guy the pictures of Michael Dukakis poking his head out of a tank like an Alfred E. Newman Jack-In-The-Box, or John Kerry dressed up like a giant sperm?! These are classic photo ops gone wrong that were too stupid to have ever have been allowed. 

Someone on the Trump campaign should have been smart enough to make sure that the only thing he was seen holding was food, water or medical supplies. Someone on the campaign should have thought about his attire and had him go for a more every day casual, down and dirty look, like W. had when visiting the World Trade Center disaster site. Someone shouldn’t have let him go down there against the governor’s wishes unless he planned on sticking around and doing something useful. 

But someone couldn’t do those things because everyone around him is new. Donald Trump has rebooted his campaign more times than one of those cow computers from Gateway that is running Windows Millenium Edition.

I swear to God I’m about ready to buy the conspiracy theories about Trump trying to lose this election to help his friend Hillary. If he isn’t, then his team is too stupid to be allowed near a lit flame, never mind the nuclear codes.