• Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog

The Middle Way

~ A journey between extremes

The Middle Way

Category Archives: Growth

I think we have learned more about toilets

14 Sunday Feb 2021

Posted by themiddlewaythrough in Anxiety, Brain Droppings, Change, Compassion, Conspiracies, Coronavirus, Corruption, Death, Democratic Socialism, Depression, Dingleberries, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Environment, Existential Risk, Fear, First Amendment, Fucking Hannity, Grief, Growth, Guns, Hate, Healthcare, Human, Indivisible, Islam, Kids, Love, Making Sense of Guns, Male superiority, Memorial, Mental Health, Middle Way, Moscow Mitch, News, Open mind, Patriotism, Pledge, Politics, Putin, Race, Revolution, Sameness, Tax the Church, Terrorism, Trump-Hole, Women

≈ Leave a comment

Donald Trump and his new Republican Party proved something: That a Constitution written when indoor plumbing was actually cutting-edge technology, is not itself strong enough to withstand a manipulative assault on it by a modern day organized crime mindset that literally came of age in the dark gaps found between its words.

So, what’s been up?

19 Thursday Nov 2020

Posted by themiddlewaythrough in Anxiety, Brain Droppings, Cannabis, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Grief, Growth, Human, Love, Medical Marijuana, Mental Health, Middle Way, Migraines, Open mind, Pain, Poetry, Prayer, Recovery, Writing

≈ Leave a comment

This used to be a cohesive blog to some extent, until a few years ago. A few years ago I started to get migraines.

Actually, based on what I now know about migraines, I guess I’ve had them for most of my life. So the fact that I say it the way that I do means they got pretty bad. Bad enough to have screwed with every part of my life, in one way or another.

I always loved writing, but as the migraines got worse, the ability to string two thoughts together has gotten more difficult. Add to that the fact that most of it is written on a tiny little phone screen, and I fat-finger things when I trying to ride an epiphany and get the words out as fast as they roll through.

Then there was this thing I learned about that can go with migraines, called aphasia. I can ‘see’ exactly what it is that I want to say, but its word isn’t with it anymore. When I am writing and it happens, I give up. In daily life, I just come out with weird shit, like referring to a cutting board as ‘the under-the-knife block’. I get frustrated because I want the writing to be good. I’m starting to not care about that as much as i used to. Fuck it. If my typos bug you, there plenty of other blogs you can visit.

I’ve written a lot, but I think I deleted even more.

Poetry has helped me though. Because I don’t have to string thoughts. I have to evoke images and feelings, and tie them together in some sort of dance. And so, that’s been the majority of what I’ve been writing.

Many times I have tried to write about what I had been going through, only to delete it the next day when everything seemed to change again. If you know someone suffering migraines, you know what that means.

Much of it is related to chronic pain, and so a great deal of this involves dealing with that, when I wasn’t in migraine. And often with both at the same time. Although migraines tend to take over the show. Back pain is kind of like a guy who follows you everywhere playing a harmonica. He would be obnoxious and drive you crazy, right? But imagine if he were to then follow you into a Lou Reed concert or something. If you were even able to hear him, even then he would at best be mildly irritating. Migraines are like that. They’re so loud, they drown everything else out around them.

And with pain, comes pain management. And with pain management comes medicines. And I am in recovery. And it’s at that point that Pandora’s Box comes apart at the seams, as the scotch tape repairs let go again.

That’s been the juggle lately, anyway. Or at least it’s a good jumping off point for a few things.

(~);-}

11 Wednesday Nov 2020

Posted by themiddlewaythrough in Brain Droppings, Depression, Ego, Emotional Intelligence, Growth, Human, Meditation, Middle Way, Open mind, Recovery, Sameness

≈ Leave a comment

It’s not so much that I’m naturally a negative person. It’s just that I am starting to figure out that if you avoid seeing the positive stuff in life, then you’re only left with negative things to look at. And, yes there is a difference. Ask anyone with self-esteem issues, it builds upon itself like compounding interest.

Mani

24 Friday Jul 2020

Posted by themiddlewaythrough in Death, Emotional Intelligence, Growth, Human, Love, Memorial, Mental Health, Poetry, Prayer, Recovery, Spirituality, Women

≈ Leave a comment

(for Cathy)

living out of the jewel in your heart
love, your connection to each
a filigreed heart for mother and child
fierce in your fight with unjustness

silhouetted by the hallway’s glow 
an Angel Trumpet on the breeze 
the gauze of your gown hued deep in joy 
barefoot to the earth, a smile to sky

you love like a martyr, taking on pain 
those in your grace, you cast a pure light 
together we draw, when you become near 
each fragment made whole by balm

pictures and paintings on walls
in every place you are missed
I wait again to smell your scent &
a crushing hug to bind my heart

a small voice

21 Thursday Mar 2019

Posted by themiddlewaythrough in Anxiety, Change, Depression, Growth, Human, Poetry

≈ 1 Comment

secret stock in yesterday
pack it deep inside
cherished grudge and festerthought
unease and disquiet thrive

possession of the certainty
that they’re or then’s the balm
buried deep in cancer rot
nostalgic hues to warm

dislocated and blame direct
you manifest the cause
searchlight cast and scapegoat set
your doom repeats alone

thoughts and prayers, likes and hits
the void a tarnished spot
junk food diet of false concerns
emaciated soul of loss

set adrift in foul play
today’s forgotten ‘morn
it’s yours to choose and back to turn
the pain of growth is born

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)

Archives

  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016

Categories

  • Anxiety
  • Art
  • Book Review
  • Brain Droppings
  • Buddhism
  • Cannabis
  • Change
  • Clowns
  • Comcast
  • Compassion
  • Conspiracies
  • Coronavirus
  • Corruption
  • Dandelion Break
  • Death
  • Democratic Socialism
  • Depression
  • Dingleberries
  • Ego
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Environment
  • Existential Risk
  • Fatherhood
  • Fear
  • First Amendment
  • FSM
  • Fucking Hannity
  • Grateful Dead
  • Grief
  • Growth
  • Guns
  • Hate
  • Healthcare
  • Heroin
  • Human
  • Indivisible
  • Islam
  • Kids
  • Love
  • Lying (oops, I meant ‘mistruthing’)
  • Making Sense of Guns
  • Male superiority
  • Medical Marijuana
  • Meditation
  • Memorial
  • Mental Health
  • Middle Way
  • Migraines
  • Moscow Mitch
  • Music
  • News
  • Nipples
  • Open mind
  • Pain
  • Patriotism
  • Pledge
  • Poetry
  • Politics
  • Prayer
  • Psychedelics
  • Putin
  • Quantum
  • Race
  • Recovery
  • Revolution
  • Sameness
  • Sex
  • Spirituality
  • Suicide
  • Tax the Church
  • Tech
  • Terrorism
  • Trump-Hole
  • Uncategorized
  • Women
  • Writing
  • Zappa

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel

 
Loading Comments...
Comment
    ×
    Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
    To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy