Category Archives: Clowns

Religion: A How Not To

28 Monday Jun 2021

Posted by in Art, Brain Droppings, Clowns, Dandelion Break, First Amendment, Mental Health, Open mind, Prayer, Spirituality, Tax the Church, Writing

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I once set out to create a religion as a prank, in true Prankster tradition.

You know, just to see if I could… like everyone does, right?

Now this was back in the days before Photoshop existed. And at the time I had unique access to systems that could perform that kind of “image magic”. And as an added bonus I could also print stuff in color, which was practically unheard of at the time.

This religion itself centered around a friend of mine who had long hair and a beard of the requisite brown color usually found in your stereotypical Hollywood-style light-skinned Jewish carpenter.

And as an added bonus, the guy’s name it got based on just happened to be a linguistic variation of yet another significant religious figure’s name.

And neither of these religions are known for their sense of humor in some areas. But I’ve always had an irreverent side. In hindsight, I am probably lucky I didn’t end up with some curse on my head, or much worse.

It lasted for a couple years. Myself and a few friends spread ‘The Word’ by sending out unsolicited prank mailers to our friends in far away cities.. We would include poster-sized color images of the (what I always thought was) buffoonery. And we would include some textual reading I wrote up that were probably about 2 steps above fortune cookie.

The whole thing ended because we met some people one day whom we didn’t know, and they way they acted made us wonder if they really believed this crap or they were just never breaking character in their own prank! Either way, it was time to put away the pulpit and hide for a while.

It’s a complex world, and some people are really susceptible to these kinds of ideas. But what is worse is that there are too many who would have looked for any opportunity to take advantage of these people.

So yeah, it’s true. I did that.

The Other One

15 Friday Feb 2019

Posted by in Clowns, Grateful Dead, Poetry, Quantum, Spirituality

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each instrument
a coil of muscle
stretching the length of
the python of song

bass notes wrap and spiral
as guitar circle prey
the piano a calliope
confusion takes form

drummers raise pressure
burning one fuse
energy builds thick
tensions reach critical

but for you there
the darkness is now
in your tiny space
as your spirit takes flight

Exercising the Law of Parsimony

18 Sunday Mar 2018

Posted by in Brain Droppings, Clowns, Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Environment, Guns, Hate, Indivisible, Mental Health, Middle Way, Open mind, Patriotism, Politics, Spirituality, Terrorism, Trump-Hole

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It is a practically universally accepted fact that the Russians have been trying to interfere with democratic elections all over the world, including in the United States, where they appear to have been successful.

It is also a near universally accepted fact that human activities are contributing to rapid climate change, and endangering the planet and the human race, and that this activity is directly linked to the burning of fossil fuels.

So, do you suppose that it’s by accident that the only notable exceptions in each of these cases is a group of politically linked, right-wing individuals, who have built a news echo chamber so efficient that even facts are unable penetrate it?

“What are you looking at, Butthead?!”

03 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by in Clowns, Dingleberries, Emotional Intelligence, Middle Way, Politics, Quantum, Trump-Hole

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After a really long, and stressful day, I wanted to watch something mindless and funny. It had been a while since I’d seen Back To The Future, it fit the bill, so I kicked back and put it on. Forget about the political crap at work. Who cares about the stupid Nunes memo.

And man, Huey Lewis was the epitome of 80’s music, huh?

Anyway, so there I am, watching this inconsequentially mindless movie, taking a momentary break from reality, when I see him… Donald Trump, again.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, a few years ago, Back To The Future writer, Bob Gale, confirmed that his inspiration for one of the all-time perfect movie ‘bullies‘, Biff from Back To The Future, was in fact Donald Trump.

So, again, the Mango Mussolini ends up on my TV screen. But not even the real one this time. No. Instead, I get the bad caricature of Donald Trump. The overly amplified parts; the bad hair combover, the condescending attitude, the insulting of anyone, and the treating of everyone like crap.

Seriously?! why? Why? WHY?! Why would anyone vote for someone like this? I mean Jesus Christ, Trump is such a heinous person that he was easily immortalized as the ultimate high school douchebag in the movies!

“Hello, hello, anybody home? Think, Nunes, think. I gotta have time to get this retyped. Do you realize what would happen if I release the memo in your handwriting? I’ll get impeached. You wouldn’t want that to happen would you? Would you?”

No, Donald. Not at All.

I’m Rubber, You’re Glue…

23 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by in Clowns, Dingleberries, Emotional Intelligence, Hate, Male superiority, Mental Health, Middle Way, Politics, Terrorism, Trump-Hole

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As reports surface of an “earthquake” in North Korea in the area where they recently tested a hydrogen bomb, it makes you think.

Nuclear brinksmanship is a strategy that has more in common with a game of chicken in a couple of 1970’s muscle cars, than it does with chess. Primarily because it’s more about testosterone, than it is about tactics. For that matter, I have little doubt that Trump, or Kim, would be willing to “whip it out” if it came to that.

It seems like we are getting further away from having leaders who can recognize that humility and compromise can be far more powerful than posturing, or bravado will ever be. Add to that a few latent daddy issues, some questionable mental stability, a bad haircut, and an ever-present entourage of people who are too afraid to disagree with you out loud, and you end up right where we are now. The worst part is, you can’t even tell which one of these two knuckleheads I’m talking about!

Besides, neither one of them cares enough about the people they represent to risk their own reputation by actually wondering if the other guy is serious or not. It’s a choreographed tap dance in a field full of cow pies. And, if you’re wondering how it all ends, you’re in luck, the whole thing gets played out in this 3 minute video. 

The Andy Scale Goes National

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by in Clowns, Dingleberries, Emotional Intelligence, Middle Way, Politics, Trump-Hole

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The Republican Party has learned little from the people. They are still trying to figure out how they ended up with Donald Trump as they’re leader. But, obviously they are willing to go with it for now, since they can use it to push their agenda through for a little while. 

The Democratic Party, on the other hand, seems to have learned… well, about the same.

After a crushing defeat in the 2016 elections that left the country with an unstable megalomanic in charge, and after having been caught with their pants down for rigging the primaries in favor of an unpopular establishment candidate over an extremely popular independent, they have shown once again, that they can veer even further off course.

Having your party chair step down mid-election, because she was exposed for rigging the primaries, is bad. Having your vice-chair leave mid-election so she could ethically back the popular independent, leaves an ethics drain at the top. And then to have your interim-chair involved in a scandal about leaking debate questions to the “preferred” candidate, reinforced people’s concerns. 

Now the DNC has elected a new chair. It wasn’t the chairperson that Bernie Sanders backed. Nope, they went with the party loyalist again. Showing that, what Click and Clack proved was correct. Behold! The Andy Scale can now be used to efficiently rate the United States Government!

“Posit the question: Do two people who don’t know what they are talking about know more or less than one person who doesn’t know what he’s talking about?

Amazingly enough, you proved that even in a case where one person might know nothing about a subject, it is possible for two people to know even less!
One person will only go so far out on a limb in his construction of deeply hypothetical structures, and will often end with a shrug or a raising of hands to indicate the dismissability of his particular take on a subject. With two people, the intricacies, the gives and takes, the wherefores and why-nots, can become a veritable pas-de-deux of breathtaking speculation, interwoven in such a way that apologies or gestures of doubt are rendered unnecessary.”

Washington Waste

22 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Clowns, Conspiracies, Middle Way, Patriotism, Politics, Trump-Hole

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Now let me preface this by saying that I honestly don’t give a shit if Melanie stays in Trump Tower with her kid since it is the middle of a school year… I totally get that. 

However, I am curious about all of those friends of mine who got furious and posted irate FB posts about how much it’s costing taxpayers every time the Obamas took a plain old family vacation. Splitting the First Family like this is really an unprecedented arrangement and will cost taxpayers a whole lot more than many, many vacations. 

I say this because I know fiscal conservatives must be very concerned.