Donald Trump eyes suspicious speakerphone

I have been swamped during my busy time at work, so keeping up on the news is tough, and writing is even tougher.

Fear not! Donald Trump to the rescue!

See, I think he could tell someone out there wasn’t paying attention to him. So he took it upon himself to go above and beyond the call of duty, and he came up with such a batshit crazy news story that I couldn’t help but get drawn in out of pure entertainment value alone. I’m touched he cared enough to reach out to me like that.

The story is generous on so many levels, it’s really hard to pick my favorite!

Did Donald Trump finally learn how to Google himself? And if so, is this a psychotic break from the emotional weight from the shock of finding out just how loathed he is… worldwide even!

Maybe he really is a master at manipulating the press and making the tail wag the dog. So, maybe he is trying to keep the press chasing anything he can think of that isn’t related to Mueller, or felonies. And maybe the idea that all of the world’s search engines (I know, he doesn’t get that part, bear with me) have somehow conspired to manipulate the information as we know it… just to make him look bad. Aside from the sheer size of his cluelessness in general, and this little polyp in particular, Trump may actually believe this juuuuust enough to convince the only people he’s saying this for anyway. It’s raw, fresh, bloody meat for his base.

Or, it’s quite simply the beginning of what will be a very unattractive, profoundly messy, and unbearably slow decline of the President’s mental faculties as the loose threads of his various crimes, and whacked out conspiracy theories, finally all merge into one overwhelming psychotic meltdown.

With daily coverage, live from the White House.