President Donald Trump has ordered the flags to half staff today because the guy who played the drill sergeant in a movie that had soldiers in it, died Sunday morning.
During a brief press Q&A, the President said, “His performance of a hard-hearted drill sergeant who drives a new recruit to commit a murder/suicide, was the most amazing performance of someone being in pretending to be in the army. It’s not an easy thing, I know. It’s something I have tried to do myself, with some success!”, he said, while waggling his eyebrows.
“I’ve always wanted to order the flag thing. It’s a great thing, the flag thing. Obama didn’t do the flag thing enough because, well… I don’t like him. A lot of people don’t.”, the President concluded.
The president was also heard to say that he was totally psyched everyone sending him all of their taxes finally.