Monthly Archives: April 2018

Donald “Snowflake” Trump

30 Monday Apr 2018

Posted by in Dingleberries, First Amendment, Hate, Middle Way, Politics, Trump-Hole

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Donald “Snowflake” Trump, ran for President on a platform that said it was okay for Americans to insult, degrade, and hate each other as a way of expressing their freedom.

He won.

President Snowflake’s supporter’s began fight with anyone who didn’t like him, or what he was saying, they made fun of them too. The people who complained got called a brand new, ‘bad name’!

“Snowflakes”

And then one of those snowflakes told some jokes about the President Snowflake at a big party. And suddenly he realized he didn’t want anyone to be able to insult or degrade him though!

President Snowflake doesn’t get irony.

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“Excitable Boy!”, they all said.

24 Tuesday Apr 2018

Posted by in Brain Droppings, Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Indivisible, Middle Way, Patriotism, Politics, Trump-Hole

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So, I was reading story about those golden showers allegations that were sketched out in the Steele Dossier. And I realized that it was really important to me to help those of you who didn’t immediately conclude that it sounded exactly like something Trump would do, to reach a logical conclusion more quickly… in the absence of more solid evidence.

The bed and hotel room that the ‘incident’ supposedly took place in, were reported to be the same bed that President and Mrs. Obama had slept in while they themselves were in Moscow.

Now, based on what we already know about Trump…

And, how he feels about erasing, or soiling, Obama’s legacy…

Does Donald Trump seem like the kind of guy who would be involved in something like that? I mean, surely that’s beneath him, right?!

And besides, I heard he’s a germaphobe?

Of course, it’s not like people sometimes hire prostitutes to do things they would otherwise never do, right? Especially stuff they normally consider to be off limits… Or taboo?!

Oh yeah, and besides… Those pesky flight records show he was there overnight.

So, who are you gonna believe? The President of the United States? Or your own lying eyes?!

…Well, he’s just an excitable boy!

R. Lee Ermey dies at age 74… Trump orders flags to half staff

15 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by in Memorial, Middle Way, Patriotism, Trump-Hole

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President Donald Trump has ordered the flags to half staff today because the guy who played the drill sergeant in a movie that had soldiers in it, died Sunday morning.

During a brief press Q&A, the President said, “His performance of a hard-hearted drill sergeant who drives a new recruit to commit a murder/suicide, was the most amazing performance of someone being in pretending to be in the army. It’s not an easy thing, I know. It’s something I have tried to do myself, with some success!”, he said, while waggling his eyebrows.

“I’ve always wanted to order the flag thing. It’s a great thing, the flag thing. Obama didn’t do the flag thing enough because, well… I don’t like him. A lot of people don’t.”, the President concluded.

The president was also heard to say that he was totally psyched everyone sending him all of their taxes finally.

— Read on www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/04/15/full-metal-jacket-actor-r-lee-ermey-dies-at-age-74.html

MEMO

12 Thursday Apr 2018

Posted by in Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Indivisible, Middle Way, Patriotism, Politics, Revolution, Terrorism, Trump-Hole

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To: The Republican Party

From: Me

CC: Sean Hannity, Fox News shills, D.J. Trumphole, V. Putin

Re: coup d’etat

It has come to my attention that you have been openly disagreeing with the Special Counsel investigation, as well as the other investigations it has spawned. While I understand that you are unabashed capitalists, but when you put money before human life… Welp, tough shit. Suck it up, Buttercup.

Remember how you were screaming about being a country of laws when the last guy was in office? That still applies, he hasn’t been able to get rid of them yet.

You see, this, what’s going on right now with the warrants, and the investigations, and the indictments… This is exactly the kind of thing that still draws people here. The knowledge that even when a bunch of fascists use loopholes, conspiracies, and voter suppression tactics, to try to steal control of the government, the very same culprits will get investigated.

That is the American dream: To no longer let some rich asshole with delusions of grandeur and a daddy complex, try to take over the country as “ruler for life”, with a lineage of blood relatives as successors. And to do it without huge social upheaval, and massive loss of life.

In most other places in the world the same acts would have ended in a bloody coup d’etat. Families would have been displaced. People would be living in refugee camps. And someone would end up on war crimes in the end.

So, anyway… if you guys really want to shut down investigations and do away with our current legal system, go for it. Just keep that picture in your head. The one with Trump trying to run… limping down some podunk airfield in the Appalachian Mountains, trying to hop on his last supporter’s private jet before it leaves the country. The plane takes off. Trump falls face first in the dirt while chasing the plane. And then you see a couple of shiny blacks shoes crunch on the gravel besides his body. Just then a firm, calm voice says, “Mr. Trump, please keep your hands where I can see them. You’re under arrest.”

Sincerely,

Me

Hit and Run

11 Wednesday Apr 2018

Posted by in Conspiracies, Dingleberries, Indivisible, Middle Way, Politics, Revolution, Trump-Hole

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I wanted to write a post about Paul Ryan’s announcement to not seek re-election after his distinguished career. I wanted to talk about how he spent most of his time in Congress in opposition to any progress, even admitting it was going to be hard leading after years of just blocking crap. I was also going to mention his scores of repeated attempts to repeal the ACA, only to leave it in tatters, then moving on to do the same to the tax code. And of course, I wanted to make sure to mention how he stepped aside and held the door for Putin to come in and take the silverware, and shirking his main responsibility of holding the Administrative Branch accountable. But, you already know all of those things.

So instead, I’m just going to say “Good riddance” to Paul Ryan… douchebag.