Living in New Hampshire with our First in the Nation Primary status, gives you a unique perspective on politics. For example, I don’t know too many people who haven’t been stuck in traffic because a motorcade was going through. It’s kind of a fact of life around here. The news helps by letting you know who is around when, if they can, but sometimes there’s no avoiding it. You pull up to an intersection and suddenly the State Police pull up out of nowhere, block everyone off in seconds and now you’re forced to sit and wait… and hope you don’t have to pee too bad. 

So when the governor of Louisiana, John Bel Edwards, requested that the president and other presidential hopefuls stay away from the state while emergency efforts are underway to help the flood victims, it was totally understandable. The last thing they need is the secret service and press taking up food and lodging needed for first responders, let alone the interruption to the transportation systems. If one person suffers because emergency personnel were stuck behind a presidential motorcade, it’s one too many.

But a natural disaster is just too attractive for some politicians to walk away from. And so here comes Mike Huckabee a-helpin’ and a-criticisin’ the president for not leaving his vacation to help the good people of Louisiana, despite the governor’s request. Okay, I get it, he’s doing his Christian duty to help, but he can’t help but poke the bear while he’s there can he? He knows that the headlines are more powerful than the truth and he just gained a few more votes for the brotherhood, right. Oh yeah, and the Newt bitched about the president too. I know that’s hard to believe. 

Anyway, then there’s Donald Trump…

Where to start?

Let’s start with the state governor’s request to Trump to please not visit if he was just coming for a photo op. And if he did show up, please be ready to pitch in and help out for real. Now what would make him think that Trump would be an opportunist while running for president of the United States?

So here comes Trump, ready to get his hands dirty, wearing a brand new sparklingly white “Make America Great Again” baseball hat and a blue blazer. Yes, the man was wearing a fucking blazer with a starched white shirt on underneath! He looked like Thurston Howell on his way to the golf course. 

He spent less than a minute (49 seconds by some reports) handing out… wait, not handing outhanding over cases of Play Doh to Mike Pence, who then gave them to someone else so they could give them to the victims who were hoping for food and water. 

Play Doh? Seriously?!

I’ve been combing news stories trying to figure out what the Play Doh is for, or why it seemed like a good idea. Now to be fair he donated other stuff like baby formula, school supplies, blankets, and even socks. But Play Doh? Hasn’t anyone showed this guy the pictures of Michael Dukakis poking his head out of a tank like an Alfred E. Newman Jack-In-The-Box, or John Kerry dressed up like a giant sperm?! These are classic photo ops gone wrong that were too stupid to have ever have been allowed. 

Someone on the Trump campaign should have been smart enough to make sure that the only thing he was seen holding was food, water or medical supplies. Someone on the campaign should have thought about his attire and had him go for a more every day casual, down and dirty look, like W. had when visiting the World Trade Center disaster site. Someone shouldn’t have let him go down there against the governor’s wishes unless he planned on sticking around and doing something useful. 

But someone couldn’t do those things because everyone around him is new. Donald Trump has rebooted his campaign more times than one of those cow computers from Gateway that is running Windows Millenium Edition.

I swear to God I’m about ready to buy the conspiracy theories about Trump trying to lose this election to help his friend Hillary. If he isn’t, then his team is too stupid to be allowed near a lit flame, never mind the nuclear codes.